The "Draw Harder" Mentality

And why it's time to change the narrative

Hi all! Before I jump into things I want to say that this post is pretty text-heavy. I tried to sprinkle it with imagery so that it wasn’t a complete slog, but if you’d rather, you can listen to the audio instead! Woooo!

If you give it a listen, I’d love to know if you have difficulty understanding it or if there are any obvious problems. (I once quit an online class I really wanted to take because the teacher’s S sounds were too whistle-y for me to bear!)

The consonants didn’t pick up as well as I’d like, which may make it trickier for those who aren’t native English speakers. That’s something I’m gonna try to sort out for future voice-overs.

And as an aside…I can’t believe I worked for hours on this and it’s only ten minutes, haha. How does anyone talk for a half an hour or an hour? Something to work toward, I guess!

Now on with the show!

Just Try Harder

There’s a narrative in the illustration world (and in the world in general) that I’d like to discuss. It’s the narrative that says if we work hard, build up our skills, and get really good, then something will happen.

It can be general: If you work really hard, your dreams will come true.

Or specific: If you build a professional illustration portfolio, companies will hire you.

It’s present, and it’s pervasive. And it’s very, very flawed.

Now, we all know about working hard in order to achieve something. You can’t be an artist without dedication and practice. So there’s nothing wrong with this narrative per se. But the devil is in the details.

Here’s the thing. There’s a huge disconnect between the first half of the narrative and the second. Plus a rather insidious bit of subtext.

First, the disconnect:

There are two actors here. You, and the thing that is supposed to happen if you do whatever it is you’re supposed to do. You can show up and do the work, but in reality, you have little control over whether or not the thing happens. You have influence, but not control.

The subtext is enough.

If you work hard enough…if you practice enough…if you get good enough…then the things you want will happen.

And that subtext is there because we see that the narrative works.

We see an artist who posts a new sketch every day. And then we see them grow by 50K followers in a year. We see an artist make an amazing piece of art and then get scooped up by an agent. We see an artist get attention in an illustration challenge and then get offered a book deal.

They did the first part, and then the second part happened. It’s proof! The system works!

So when it doesn’t work for you, it’s not hard to infer that you haven’t worked hard enough. You haven’t practiced enough. You haven’t gotten good enough.

And there’s the tiniest, narrowest, most miniscule margin between “you haven’t gotten good enough” and “you aren’t good enough.”

And that is worth highlighting.

Because your whole self esteem can hang on something you have little to no control over. That is HUGE. That is MONUMENTAL. Because we’re talking about a core message in this career, a career that is largely subjective and very much at the whim of other people’s opinions.

Now, I’m not saying don’t work hard. I’m not saying don’t practice, and I’m certainly not saying don’t get good (whatever that means). Because these things will of course have a positive influence on your career.

What I am saying is to recognize that you can only ever have control over your own actions (and even that’s a little dubious because none of us are self-aware 100% of the time). The second part of the equation is out of your hands. Recognize it. Make peace with it. And don’t let it destroy your self esteem.

Just Draw Harder

You see, I got really caught up in this narrative. And I succumbed to what I’ve dubbed the “Draw Harder” mentality.

These are things I actually thought:

If I figure out my style, an agent will offer to represent me.

If I go to Bologna and show publishers my portfolio, I’ll get a book deal.

If I learn to draw detailed backgrounds, I’ll get a book deal.

If I get better at characters, I’ll get a book deal.

If I learn to render realistically, if I embrace a more comic and humorous style, if I make tighter drawings, if I make looser drawings, use brighter colors, use neutral colors, add more texture, less texture. Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

It’s not that I thought good things wouldn’t happen, it’s that I thought they couldn’t happen until I was good enough.

Which meant I was always looking for more. I looked for a new problem to solve. I worked harder. Drew harder.

And it was never enough. Because when you think you’re not good enough, nothing you do will be good enough.

And if you’ve ever experienced imposter syndrome—despite having people tell you they love your work, or maybe even offer to do something super wacky, like buy it—then you probably know exactly what I mean.

I was so anxious all the time. I had unwittingly trained my brain to constantly look for problems in my work. And I told myself that if I just fixed them all, I would have the career I want.

Never mind that I already had that career. I had a well-known agent. I had book deals. I had awards. It’s probably fair to say I was doing pretty well. But since I knew how much I still had to learn…it was obvious to me that someone had made a mistake. And it was only a matter of time until they realized it.

I was so stressed out. And I had to learn what it means to be enough for myself, so I could stop trying to be enough for other people. Because trying to figure out what everyone else wants is exhausting. It’s a losing proposition. It’s unknowable. (And I still occasionally try to do it, because I’m nothing if not fully human.)

So instead of focusing on things that are out of my control, I’m focusing on what I can do.

Instead of stressing about whether my art is good enough, I can put ten pieces together and submit them to a portfolio review so I can get actual useful feedback from someone I respect. Instead of stressing about why I haven’t gotten a book deal yet, I can focus on actually finishing my book dummy and pitching it to publishers. Instead of stressing about why I don’t get any new followers, I can focus on creating more meaningful exchanges with the audience I already have.

You have to change the narrative so that it’s not, “If I try hard enough, I can force something to happen.” It has to be, “If I do these things, I will learn, I will grow, I will get more comfortable with something that’s challenging for me, and I will ultimately be proud of myself.”

Opportunities will come. Your job is to make sure you support yourself so that you’re not already burnt out when they do.

As always, if this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it. And of course a share would be appreciated. A lot of the messaging in this career can be tough psychologically, and it’s my goal to get healthier messaging out there!